Idiot
by Ayvee
Summary: (Takes place in War Storm) KilornxMare; Mare is upset at Cal's decision from Corvium, and when they return to Piedmont, Kilorn is there to comfort her.


After the terms were agreed upon at the Conference room in Corvium, we returned back to the Piedmont base. I made sure to take a separate air jet than Cal. Farley's idea. She didn't want anything to happen because of my anger and I had no choice but to agree.

On my air jet, Farley sat beside me to keep me comfort and Cameron didn't sit too far away. In the event that I would lose control, Cameron was meant to take action by silencing my abilities. The hours went by and I couldn't stop thinking of Cal's betrayal as well as Maven's. I couldn't believe it. Two Calore betrayals. One hurt more than the other and there was nothing I could do to be enough.

After many hours, the air jet finally landed on base and we shuffled out together. It was nightfall yet most of our families were up waiting for our return.

"Mare!"

Bree and Tramy ran up to me and hugged me tightly, relieved to see that I'm still alive. The rest were waiting at home for me, and glancing back at Farley, she gave me a sad smile.

We drove home in the transport, the lights streaking past the window. I closed my eyes, trying to distract myself. When we arrived home, Mom, Dad, and Gisa were waiting for me. I went through the motions, glad that I survived and briefly informing them about what happened. They nodded solemnly, understanding what is to become of the future. Gisa watched me, worriedly. After what felt like forever, my family finally went to bed and I prepared a bath.

I sat in the hot bathwater, numb. Staring up at the ceiling, I thought of everyone who died for this cause and yet he was willing to throw it all away for power of the crown. I wasn't enough. I wasn't enough then, and I surely wasn't enough now. I thought of Shade's death, and tears pricked at my eyes but I blinked them away furiously.

An hour and a half passed when I realized how wound up I was. I needed to let this out. Dressing in a dark red t-shirt and black pants, I quietly left the house to head over to the training gym.

I let my sparks wind through my fingers, itching to be let out. This overwhelming feeling of heartbreak threatened to burst through my shell, and I had to push it back down. I would not breakdown here. I wouldn't be the pathetic lightning girl crying in a training gym, alone with nothing but her lightning. As always.

The lights weren't on inside of the gym, I powered them up easily. I ran as fast as I could until I could no longer run. Although my legs were heavy and tired, I pushed myself to shoot lightning at the targets. The feeling of my power comforted me because it would never leave, not even after 6 months of Silent Stone. I flitted from target to target, never losing pace. A lightning whip here, lightning web there. Bolts flew out of my hands at rapid speeds, destroying each target more than the last as my anger bled out of me. Vaguely, I wished that I could feel just as destructive as Ella's lightning.

I could never be an expert at storm lightning but that didn't mean I couldn't do it. I knew it was a stupid idea but nobody would bother me if I caused a storm over near Storm Hill. It was far enough away.

I exited the gym to walk over to Storm Hill. It was dead quiet. Everyone was asleep and resting from the day's battle.

I stayed at the bottom of the hill, not wanting to make the trek up. I let myself feel for a storm, calling for it. In the same hour, I managed to create a whirling vortex of a chaotic storm that I wasn't sure I would ever be able to call upon again. Lightning surrounded me protectively and with a flick of my finger, I willed lightning bolts to come cascading down on the field. My lightning fueled me and I felt ready to take on the entire world. I made my sparks dance, I made them roam the ground, I practiced my aim until it was deadly and precise.

For a second, I almost didn't feel a presence behind me. Who would dare enter an area of lightning bolts? I could only think of Cal, being stupid enough to come and apologize for what he's done.

Turning sharply, I raise my hands up in defense, ready to strike him away from me. My storm rumbled with me, fury renewed.

But I find myself looking at emerald, green eyes instead.

Kilorn.

"Woah, Mare," Kilorn raises his own hands. "It's just me."

Of course Kilorn would be stupid enough to enter a destructive zone. But all the same, I'm comforted to see my old friend. A remnant of my past life when things were simple.

I will myself to call back the storm and keep my lightning in check. I don't want to hurt Kilorn. Not him.

"What are you doing here?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"Nice to see you too," he said sheepishly. "I came to check on you because you seemed like you needed it."

I raise an eyebrow.

"And," he continues. "Because everyone who's awake at camp right now can see all the lightning going on."

"Sorry."

I let the rest of the lightning and storm dissipate until it's just another quiet night again. Kilorn doesn't say anything and I try to come up with something to make the silence go away.

"I just needed to let some things out. I didn't mean to wake everybody up. I'll head home now."

I try to brush past him but he catches my elbow, preventing me from escape. I scowl at him. His grip on me tightens until I flinch, and he mutters an apology. Loosening his hold, he takes a deep breath in.

"Mare. I heard about what happened at Corvium."

Anything but this, Kilorn. You idiot, this isn't what I want to talk about. Not now. But he isn't afraid of me shocking him. He knows I won't, as much as I want to. He still has a hold on me.

Turning slowly, I glare at him with all the irritation I can summon. "Are you going to tell me you told me so? Are you going to tell me this is what I get for trusting another Silver prince? That everyone in this camp looks at me like I'm a stupid, foolish girl for believing yet another prince's lie?"

Kilorn is unfazed. He's used to me snapping at him. After all, I'm known for running away from my problems.

I face him completely now. Wrenching my arm back, I let the lightning flow throughout my body freely so I'm just a sparking mess. I try to contain my emotions but it won't let me now. Not when my voice of reason is standing right in front of me and I chose to ignore it. Memories of Kilorn telling me to be careful choosing Cal back at the Notch flit through my mind. He was right. And I ignored him.

I can't take his silence so I speak for the both of us.

"Because you were right. You were right again, Kilorn. I'm a stupid, naïve girl who never learned my lesson the first time when a Silver betrayed me. I defended a prince when I should have known better. I let him into our camp. I let a traitor into our camp, and everything we've worked so hard for, he just… He threw it away for the stupid, stupid crown," my voice hitches as I try to fight back a sob. The lightning is wild now, sporadically coming off of me. "Power makes people corrupt. I thought he would be different. I thought he understood where we were coming from. You, me, Farley, Shade…!"

I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the tears not to fall. My hands clench into fists at my side. I'm trying so hard to be composed.

Kilorn rushes to hug me tight despite my sparks. If he feels bites of shock, he doesn't make it known. My tears fall freely now, staining his shirt. I let my sparks die down, wrapping my arms around Kilorn's wiry frame.

"You're not a stupid girl," he murmurs. "Only sometimes, but not now."

I feel the walls I built up slipping slowly down, crumbling in on itself. My body trembles with the sob I know is coming. The breakdown we've all been waiting for after months of what I had been through.

Gripping bits of his shirt, I let out a strangled sob. Stubborn me, still trying to hold back. We sink slowly to the ground. I'm still in his arms as he whispers nothing but reassurances and caring words to me. I don't hear any of them, I only recognize the tone. Kilorn's never been this gentle to me before, and it's because of his feelings.

"Mare, you're going to be okay. We're going to win this. Nobody died for nothing. Shade would be so proud right now. I'm so proud of how far you've come. You've made a huge difference," he whispers over and over. He strokes my hair in a form of comfort and I can't hold back anymore.

Letting out a huge cry, I sob into his chest. I'm emotionally drained. I'm so tired. I wish I could walk away from this but I can't. Nobody understands what I went through with Maven. And the only person who did, is walking away from me for a crown.

We stay like this for awhile and nobody tries to find us. I'm wailing and crying as Kilorn tries to give me solace. I am having the worst breakdown of my life after everything, after having to stay strong for so long. I can't turn back time. I can't bring back the dead. I can't undo my mistakes. I can only think about them and move forward. There's nobody else to blame but myself.

After some time, I calm down enough to where my breathing is ragged but no more tears come. I'm curled up against Kilorn's chest and he holds me tightly. He kisses my head, forehead, and cheeks repeatedly. Everywhere but my lips, not wanting to cross that boundary. It's almost as if he's trying to keep me in place.

"Thank you," I whisper into his chest. He pulls me closer to him and looks at me with an expression I can't quite understand. He looks conflicted, as though he's debating whether to tell me something.

Kilorn runs a hand messily through his hair. Taking a deep breath, he starts, "Look, this may not be the right time to say this, or the right moment… But don't ever trust those Silver princes again."

He gives me a sad grin. So much for him telling me he wouldn't say he told me so. I let out a pathetic laugh and attempt to punch him in his shoulder. He catches my fist gently and intertwines his fingers through mine. My chest feels heavy. There's a serious look in his green eyes.

"Mare, you know… I love you."

"I know." My body tenses. I recall the confession at the Notch.

"I still do." His hand is trembling from nervousness. "I still love you as much as I did before, if not more. And it hurts me seeing you heartbroken over him. I hate seeing you like this. I hate seeing you throw yourself into danger."

I almost scoff at the idea of Cal being considered dangerous but I'm aware that he is. I don't say anything to Kilorn. He knows I can't just stand back. He knows I can't choose who to love.

"And I'm not telling you to pick me," he goes on. "I'm just asking if you were willing to give it a try. Not now. Maybe not ever. But maybe if…"

He's blushing red, tripping over his thoughts. If I weren't so exhausted, I may have found it cute.

"If…?" I prod.

"If you were to open up your heart again."

I gaze up at him, trying to imagine falling in love with Kilorn. He's my best friend. He's familiar, and comforting. He avoids looking at me. Something in me tugs and I feel the urge to act on it, just to see. Slowly, I sit up a little and place my hand on his cheek. Surprised, he looks down at me.

"Uh, Mare?"

I lean up and kiss him on his lips. Kilorn completely freezes, thrown off by my action. I know this won't stop the heartache or make me head over heels for Kilorn, but it's a start.

Kilorn's lips are soft and warm, and yield to mine. He melts fully under my kiss and I can sense he wants more. This is odd to me. This boy I grew up with who was always in close proximity to me, and yet his lips are new territory. We had never explored this aspect with each other considering all the bickering we did. And yet here we are, kissing. I feel the swell of emotion and love he has for me in this kiss. He tries to convey as much of it that he can, while he has this opportunity. It's a flood being held back by a dam, threatening to spill over and consume everything that it can.

His hands hold my face tenderly, with the utmost care. As if I'm going to break. And I just might.

We pull away from each other for air, having gotten too caught up in the kiss to notice sunrise peeking through. Our faces are red hot and we both choose to stare up at the sky and the sprinkle of stars.

"I think I love you even more now," he mutters.

"Idiot."


End file.
